


A Spark in the Dark

by ViennatheDachshund



Category: Free!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Abusive Parent, Falling In Love, Falling Out of Love, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 04:50:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13850448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViennatheDachshund/pseuds/ViennatheDachshund
Summary: The exact moment Sosuke starts to fall out of love with Rin and in love with Nitori





	A Spark in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place shortly after Ai is appointed captain of the swim team.
> 
> The artwork in this piece is a commission from the lovely @dmochii.

Moonlight streamed through the tree branches into the Samezuka dorm room. Sosuke watched the shadows of the branches dance on the floor. Usually, when he was unable to sleep, he'd listen to the soft sounds of Rin's breathing in the bunk bellow and eventually be lulled to sleep, but the room was quiet tonight. Rin had gone home for the weekend and Sosuke was alone. Deciding a walk around campus might calm his restlessness, Sosuke slid out of bed and put on his indoor shoes.

After wandering through the halls for a bit, Sosuke realized he had no idea where he was...or how to get back to his room. Why did he have such a terrible sense of direction? Rin had always teased him about that. Rin, who was moving to Australia at the end of the year...

Sosuke sighed. He understood that Rin was doing what was best. He was following his dream, just like he had been when he left for Australia the first time. Still, he couldn't help but feel a tightness in his chest when he thought of Rin leaving... especially when he couldn't catch up to him anymore.

 _"I'll be waiting for you_. _"_  Rin had said to him and he had told Rin that he'd give it some thought.

He had. And it was impossible. Physical therapy wasn't doing anything. Surgery would put him out of the race for too long. No matter which way he looked at it, it was impossible.

"That's impossible!"

Sosuke jumped.

"Er- I mean- Isn't that impossible for you? With work and all..."

Sosuke had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he failed to notice Nitori Aiichirou leaning against the wall further down the hallway.

"...You really don't need to do that..." Nitori said, the harsh light from his cell phone illuminating his cheek. 

Not wanting to eavesdrop, but in need of directions back to the dorms, Sosuke decided to wait to approach Nitori until he was finished with his conversation.

"...I didn't say that!"

Sosuke raised an eyebrow. It was unlike Nitori to be so defensive.

"...It's just...sometimes...sometimes I feel like you check up on me because you don't trust me. Or rather, you don't take into consideration what  _I_  want. How  _I_  feel...I just-"

Nitori pulled the phone back from his ear and winced. Even Sosuke could hear the yelling from the other line, though he couldn't make out specific words. Slowly, Nitori brought the phone back to his ear, the yelling still blaring through the speaker.

"...yes..." he said, his shoulders slumping. "...yes..." he said, his face draining of any expression. "...yes..." he said, his eyes glassing over. "...yes...sorry, father...I'll see you soon...goodbye..." The conversation ended and Nitori's arm went limp, causing the phone to fall to the floor.

Sosuke hesitated. Coaching Nitori in his swimming was one thing, but helping him with family issued seemed too...intrusive.

"Nitori? What are you doing here so late?" Sosuke asked, trying to play it as if he had run into him just now. "Let's head back-"

Nitori's knees gave out and he fwumped onto the floor.

"Oi! Nitori! Are you okay?" Sosuke bent down next to his friend. Did he pass out? No, his eyes were still open. Why did he fall over? "Nitori! Hey! Nitori, talk to me!" Sosuke grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, but Nitori still didn't say anything. He didn't talk. He didn't move. All he did was stare, eyes glazed over, into nothing. 

Rin. Call Rin. Rin would know what to do. Shit, he left his phone in his room. Nitori's phone. He'd have Rin's number. Grab the phone. Thank god there's no passcode. Find Rin's contact. Dialing...

"Ai? Do you have any idea-"

"Rin! It's me. Thank god you picked up."

"Sosuke? What's wrong? What's going on?"

"I don't know what to do."

"Sosuke, just tell me what happened."

"Nitori...he just... _collapsed_ -"

"He passed out?"

"No, he's still awake...I think...He's just- he won't move or talk or look at me-"

"Shit," Rin sighed "there's no way I can get out there now, the last train's long gone-"

"Rin! What's going on what's  _wrong_  with him?"

"Sosuke, it's okay...he's having a panic attack, but he'll be okay."

Sosuke blinked. "I thought...Aren't panic attacks...Don't you, like, shake and hyperventilate and stuff?"

Rin sighed. "It's different for different people. Ai just...turns off. It's like his brain is trying to reboot itself. Just sit with him. He'll come out of it soon enough."

"Sit with him?"

"Yeah...the first time this happened I was as freaked out as you were-"

"I am not-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever... _Anyway_ , the first time I almost called an ambulance I was so freaked. But Ai's attack subsided and he explained it to me. He said he doesn't get them often, but he asked if I would just sit with him when he did."

"...Is that really all I can do?"

"Yeah. Sit with him and listen to him if he wants to talk. Sometimes he'll want to talk about what set it off...Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have gone home this weekend!"

"Rin, you couldn't have know this would happen-"

"Still! I-"

"Rin. I'll sit with him. I'll take care of him. Beating yourself up about it isn't going to fix the situation."

"Says the guy who was freaking out two seconds ago."

"I told you I wasn't-"

"But you're right...thanks Sosuke..."

Sosuke smiled. "Yeah," he said. A long silence filled the line before Sosuke finally clicked the End Call button. Smile fading, he plopped down next to Nitori. Sosuke peeked at him out of the corner of his eye. He looked like a marble statue, with the moonlight reflecting off his pale skin. Did stone look so soft, though?

Sosuke retracted his hand. He had reached out to touch Nitori without even thinking. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.

Nitori wasn't weak. He knew that for a fact. He had seen his determination earlier in the year. Nitori's desire to swim with Rin...it was something he could understand completely. Everyone wants to swim with Rin. That's just Rin's personality; Alluring...perservering...kind...handsome...

Sosuke shook away the thought. Rin was his best friend. He couldn't think about him like that. He couldn't tell him that he was...actually, he couldn't tell anybody-

"Thank you."

Sosuke's eyes flung open. Had he been falling asleep? Or was he just lost in thought again?

Nitori had sat up and hugged his knees to his chest.

Sosuske's mind flashed back to earlier in the semester when he had found Nitori on the steps outside. There was something about him, the way he looked so desperate and alone, that made Sosuke feel compelled to help. That was about swimming, though. This was about Nitori's family...his father...

"I-" Nitori bit his lip. "I really thought he'd actually  _listen_  to me this time...now that I've accomplished something he can brag about to the other parents..."

Sosuke opened his mouth and then closed it. He wasn't sure what to say or if he should say anything at all.

"He doesn't care about me...not the  _real_  me anyway. He wants me to be the super tough man's man, but I just... _can't_...I can't even imagine what he'd do if he found out I'm-" Nitori cut himself off. He lowered his eyes.

Then it hit Sosuke. What Nitori had been dealing with...what  _he_  had been dealing with...and the words came out of his mouth before he could even think them:

"I'm gay."

Nitori's eyes grew wide as he slowly turned to look at Sosuke.

Sosuke chuckled. "It's funny," he said "I don't think I've actually ever said that out loud before."

A smile grew on his face. What was this feeling? The tightness he had felt a moment ago was gone, and in it's place it felt like his chest was made out of cotton candy...out of sunshine itself.

"If I'm being honest with myself," Sosuke continued, "Rin has probably figured it out by now, but- Hey, why are you crying?"

"Oh! I am?" Nitori asked, touching his face.

"You didn't even realize it? Seriously?"

Nitori laughed weakly, a familiar smile finally returning to his face. "It's just..." he said, "It feels good to not be alone."

Sosuke smiled. "It sure does."

And the moon and stars shone on gently up above.


End file.
